Jake and I do a couple’s bible study… It’s not really a “bible study” in the traditional way, and it’s not every week. We just get together as often as everyone’s schedules allow. Usually, it turns out to be once a month. We (me, Jake, and the other couples) fellowship and eat, and then one couple is responsible for bringing the topic for the night. It can be anything. Then we talk. Some people share scripture that points the right direction. Some people share lessons that Jesus has taught them along the way… we all just share our hearts. It has really been one of the most amazing “studies” of my life. I get excited every time we get together because I know that God is going to speak to me. It’s wonderful!
Last week the topic presented was about how many things we do “In the name of the Lord” but there are selfish tones that underlie in it. Like helping with “so and so” organization, but partly you do it because it gives you a more prominent place in the community. Or, you give money to someone in need, but then feel the need to share the good thing you did with someone else. Or you tell someone that you will pray for them… I think FEELING GOOD about something that we do for God is part of His reward to us. But how often is the better part of what we are doing selfish? It really made me examine the things I do and say, and what I’m really doing them for.
No one likes to see themselves in a negative light. It’s hard to be honest with ourselves about the true intentions behind our actions; especially when those actions are for the Lord. But I know that I have been guilty of it; telling someone that I will pray for them (because it sounds good). I do pray for them, but why didn’t I take their hand and instead say, “Can I pray with you? Right now?”, OR if I didn’t want to do that then I should just pray for them and they don’t even need to know it!
I’m definitely NOT saying that everything that everyone does is because they are selfish. I KNOW that is not the case. AND, not everything I do is selfish. But the discussion did make me want to look at everything I do, and work to do it all with a pure heart. What Jesus has revealed to me is the importance of confession. Every time I see myself sinning in that way, I need to confess it out loud to the Lord, then capture the thoughts and give them to Him. Even in just this short amount of time I can see my heart changing, becoming more pure. God is SO good!
There were a lot more examples that people were bringing up that were stabbing me right through the heart. I would share them with you, but I can’t seem to remember the rest. I’m sure the Lord will bring them back to my mind at exactly the right moment…when I’m about to do something out of selfishness.
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